Tuesday, March 22, 2011

That One Night ...!!

That one night, the darkness was just gaining black with every leaping minute. It was the night when all my emotions ran into callousness and wanted to go all blunt. They wanted to feel for none. For it was, an hour ago, a fight with my dad, where he reasoning out his principles on ‘art of living’, advising on how to live, which were to me just some nascent ‘start of living’, the yesteryear road show…! I’d left the house, by now, it was, 01.17 a.m….

I was now on the streets of the adjacent colony, where pavement lights tried to glow. The heavy trees above them had spread their claws to such an extent, that the light from the bulb had to fight its way to reach the ground. Lurching down the road and kicking the sleeping pebbles, I questioned and cursed for no reason on my own but unknown state of affairs…

It had rained heavily that evening. The roads were still wet; reek of the wet soil was still in the air. The chill breeze hit my chest, drawing the arms close. For that moment though, the coldness, did not much matter, for it were tears in my eyes. I’d weeped for the whole past one hour, eyes all red, replenished tear glands, they were waiting for the emotions to pucker up, and once they got the intimation, they poured. The streets here were in apathy; the houses bed-lighted, as even the time for the lullabies had passed…………

Loitering farther down the lane, I could find a nicely elevated pavement to sit, the street lights there too, ironically, strived to get some light for themselves. It was unjustly dark but justly lighted too, a so called ‘candle lighted serene’. I could hear the dogs howling at a distance. I dint know the reason though, I’d somehow begun liking the solitude, the reclusion had just begun giving me the right solace, when I heard something coming towards me. Startled, and looked for to find, the noise came from the dark shadow of the gigantic Banyan tree at the right of me. Tears on my cheek had dried up, now within fraction of seconds, fear, anxiety and courage came to the front, and they were getting ready to face the ambuscade. The mentioned adjectives came to a standstill when I saw a pug, or a cute living being (as girls call it) coming out from the darkness. First came its head, then its body and then followed by its tiny tail. And then, what I saw was it wasn’t alone. The chain across the collar of the dog was fastened and held by its master on the other end. No…! Wait…..! It wasn’t a ‘master’, of what I could decipher in the weak light. It was a mistress. The first ray of light fell on her, and, I, indeed, submissively, fell in her. The entire lament which I’d carried till then had drawn a blank. I could feel the chill in my heart, it was now quickly beating. Her flawless skin, large blue eyes with a black shade, the glitter in them requiring no artificial halogens, perfect contours of the brows - so much complimenting her visage, the snug lips-as though holding a secret, hair untied, bringing her hand close to the falling strand of hair on her cheek to set it back, I was taken aback by the sensuality in her simplicity. She was wearing a full sleeved green churidaar, which looked perfectly stitched, just to match her perfection; it was supplemented with a red colored chunni across. The color of her dress accentuated the beauty. What I had not seen in my brightest days, had now appeared in the gloomiest night. Her delirious charm had caught me; she looked at me, immediately withdrew her eyes and started walking ahead. I gathered all the possible courage, not giving any second thought, I spelled out

“Hey! Nice pug…..”
“Thanks” , she did reply..!!
“You’ve come out to walk at such a late night.” I tried asking one more sentence.
“Yes.. Any problem…?! ” came a curt reply…

Having been mesmerized by her beauty, and the green coloredchuridaar, I could reckon it; it was now the time to get flattered by her boldness.

“No..! Not any.. You’re a brave girl..! ” and I smiled.
“Hello, all girls are brave ….” She said, and now, smiled back. And added, “Looks like you’ve weeped huh.. ?”
It’s the most derogatory sentence a man can ever listen to from a girl he’s started longing for. I cursed for how my face could be so expressive at such a damn wrong time.
I immediately retorted “No.. I dint. ”….. She dint believe it though and slightly grinned at my now slightly angry face..!
”Wana walk along ?” she asked.
What more could I ask for, “Yeah. Sure. But aren’t you scared of me ? I’m the lone guy on this deserted street.”
“No.. I’m not. And, you look like you’re from a decent clan.”
I just said “You should be an HR…!” We smiled, then talked, and now, walked.

I knew, if I’d spoken about her spell on me, I could be misunderstood. It would be just a materialistic aplomb falling succinct of what I could think of at that point of time. So, I was tailoring my thoughts and customizing the replies. I loved it, for the conversation had happened. I was sure I hadn’t seen a prettier thing than her in my life. We almost reached her place.

Spotting the house, the pug, uninterested in our talk, without his mistress’ approval, ran into the house. The thin chain which she had held, took a slight pull and it slipped away from her hand. I could see something falling off her fingers. I picked it up.

She said “Hey..! Isn’t that a lovely ring! ”
I, perplexed, “Yes.. It is.”
She added a few more words, which had deleted my vocabulary for a while, “I was engaged yesterday, I should rather call it, a ‘Love Engagement’.” She smiled and blushed.

Her words had made a deep collision in me with total dismay and disbelief. I was mute. The street was dead silent. Of all what I could hear was the sound when the leaves moved. My throat choked, tear glands wanted my approval, I told them “No… Afterwards...” Still, a drop of water had fallen on the diamond. She dint see it, rather I dint wanted her to. I could see the mirth and blush when she took the name of the owner of the diamond. I ‘gave’ it back to her. I wished, at that very moment, if I could ‘offer’ her the same. Her home had come. She said “Alright then, now you go home. Don’t linger. It was a pleasure talking to you..!” and smiled. My heart grew heavy, I replied, or it were the only words I could manage to utter “Same here. !.”

I rushed back to my home, on the way back, I’d had my notions driven into a vacuum. Unable to recover from the thump, I started walking briskly, inhaling more air into me. The thought about my inability to augment the bond between me and her, made me lugubrious. The only sedative my mentoring mind had offered me was – “Dude, she has already come wishfully ‘under the hammer’, any a price you try, would be deterred…!!”

I rushed into my home where I could find my dad still awake for me, for he knew me, I couldn't stay long out of the house. He smirked at me and said “Theek he hun sab? Gussa utargaya hega tera?” .. I said “Haanji Paa…” I ran towards him and gave him a tight hug. He smiled at one end, and at the other, tears rolled down from the eyes.............................

The Lopsided Me...!!

Dwelling in the silent roads of limbo……
Even the whisper sounding loud…………
No existence of love, No shoulder, sinking gallantry around…
Perfidy has hit big… No song of trust being played..
Recluse in the mass, in quest of shade, or at least a remote hand in vague…!!
No chord of rhythm, euphony withdrawn…
Blast here, there a bomb… no bliss, no thee, just demon and don…
Some sweat just dripped, Some blood just shed, Some bones just fell…..
Yes, I do see this..
The cries of the mother, the stranded children on the streets, the jobless mates un-fed …
Yes, I do see this..
Do I have a palliative..? Do I have an option…?
The young bloody affair in me, searching for a key…
To unlock the virgin-courage, it’s a belligerence for some glee…
The cafes of sin, filling the jar… Boozing off like a beast, at some roadside bar..!
Will I sleep peacefully, Will I wake up liberated….
Or will I be the same helot, the ‘real’ me obliterated…!!
Berserk is the crowd, for no botheration of pride,
Berserk is the inner spirit, for all the morality lop-side..!!
High Time Calling, the conscience mending walls,
“Wake up, Wake up you jerk” -- it’s my vanity which calls…!!
Fire in me conflagrating, my shadow craving for its laurel…
I don’t ask for a boastful fire, I don’t ask for a battle,
I intrude into the darkness, darker I go.. Seeking for an aim, aimlessly I go..
I ask for a candle, the ignited flame of love…!!!